Teach me to believe

 in response to barkon...   Hi barkon
I feel the same way about my cat wondering how to get on without him. I am not ready to go. I was studying to be a dental assistant then I took a philosophy class and changed my major to philosophy which can real make your head spin. I had an idea for a thesis in Junior college and my teacher said that is a good one. Went to a college and dropped out later before I almost done. I am spiritual and believe that when we die we will met everyone as my sister said when mom died oh what will happen when they met in heaven. I said they will have the love that was there early on as most leave the worldly cares behind and I feel your dad might be like he was when he was younger without so much problems. I don't worry about who I will see or won't see when I die. take care and your welcome . I get to sleep with a alarm that went quiet. See you later. Need rest
that is why I am tired.
hugs
Starshine

Hi Starshine thankyou. That poem is actually derived from a Sylvia Brown Book. I can't remember the name of it but it was one of her earlier ones and it gave me

hope when Junior died in 2001, my other bassett who was only a year old and grew too big for the cancerous half kidney he was born with and without the other. I hope she is right. I miss all my animals I have lost and sometimes, especially with Richie, I was ready to go with him. One of my miniature dachshunds just had thyroid cancer removed and her sister has cushings disease. They are 13-14. I have told myself I will go with them to keep myself from dying inside anymore. My other cat is 14, a dog 12, 10, and 8-9, and 5 and a half. They go so fast. Thank you for reminding me. I was a Philosophy major and it is hard not to be pessimistic after existentialism and death and dying classes. My senior thesis was disproving Descartes Cogito Ergo Sum- I think therefore I am. I said I think therefore I think. I am a spiritual, sensitive and not sure if good or bad a person who has many alter states that believe and don't. I want to believe. I don't wish to see my father in heaven, but I don't think he went there March 11, 2010. Still, maybe that is why I am here-because I don't want to know. Thank you again. Emily

 in response to barkon...   

Starshine back here I want to share a poem with you about our pets and many here have lost their pets. I know it is hard to lose our furry companions. Read this and stay here. Richie is always with you looking down on you for the love you gave him and he gave you. And loves you for giving him rest humanely.

I love this poem and you will see why..

http://rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm

Take care and you will be in my prayers and thoughts for your surgery on 12/15/2010.

hugs

Starshine

 in response to emilye...   Hello again
My cat let me know it was time too. I kept telling him that when ever it gets to be too much let me know. The second time was short recovery from the vets and then he stopped eating,, ate a little and I knew 9/21 when he was at vet's for hopeful help I should have called to put him to sleep thinking he return perky and he hid . So I knew this was it as his body had it and I was happy the next day I got to hold him and tell him how much I loved him before a guy took him late to the vets as we couldn't get him out of hiding.
best to you.

 in response to emilye...   You are welcome emilye. Sorry about your dog having it too. Sheshe030 had it also. I know someone on facebook his cat is 18 has it but got hypertension and went blind but with hydration treatment an kidney food wet I tried with Sunny his cat is okay. I hear wet food is best food for cats and probably dogs especially male cats. I have had a great connection with all my pets but Sunny was special as he was my pet being single. So I had him for 7 of his 8 years. I have many of things to write about . I wasn't taken out of mom's will my sister just got greedy and made it h on earth.
You are welcome and eventually I will find peace. I miss him but he is at Rainbow Bridge and one day we will be united. Best to you to Emily,
Starshine and thanks for the message.

 in response to Starshine...   Thanks Starshine. Richie had kidney failure too and I had to put him down and he let me know it was time. I have six dogs and another 14 yr old cat, Dublin. Still, my connection to Richie was profound. He went blind and he would put his paws on the sides of my face and hold it like he could see into my eyes and heart. Yes, many believe a book is right, I just haven't been able to lay it down there are so many lives to tell. Thank you for caring and sharing. I hope you also find peace with the loss of your baby. Bests, Emily

Hello

I am reading your post and you have been through a lot. I have a link on cancer information that might help.

CLICK HERE

I hear you on the PSTD as I had it but didn't know it. I feel better now. I too lost my cat this year. I had to put him to sleep due to kidney failure as the treatment for in June just didn't hold for him and he stopped eating for a third time. This time there was no pain for him to endure longer. It was hard to loose him and he was 8 years old and I had him for 7 years. We even shared the same birthday month .

You have come a long way and too bad people have to go through so much as you have .

I hope you get to a point when life starts to be good again. Maybe writing a book out about your life would be a good idea when you feel up to it.

Take care

Starshine